Travel Diary / to-do list Thailand

Sawasdee krab from Hong Kong Airport. Yeah, blogging live from Hong Kong Airport where – by the way – the local authorities have asked me to remove my hat in order to check my head`s temperature. The future is now. My head seems to be warm or cold enough though in case you were wondering about my health.

This post is going to be a giant pain in the a&^$ for me because I am hoping it will remind me of all the stuff I thought I should write down in order to be able to write about it thoroughly later. So this is sort of a list of my home work…or maybe beautiful free form poetry. You be the judge.

The plan is to add a lot of hyperlinks here to the actual posts that I will hopefully write one day.

Tag 1: 

Palace mwuaeh. 

Street food = macht. 

Flussfahrt die ist lustig.

Sexy hund mit pullover

Gebissverkauf

Thai ice tea

Pedicure

Foot massage

Konsumimpulse krass heftig im gegensatz zu indien

Tag 2:

Platinum & pratunam

Papaya salad from hell

Boot flitzerei

golden mount view

Avoided demonstration, explored little hoods

Thip samai pad thai, coconut juice

Night train

Night train perfect for polar bears

Tag 3:

Shitty wok

Chiang mai shared taxis

Inmate massage

Sunday walking street hoellllleeeee

Tag 4:

Kaeltester tag seit 30 jahren

Benzinkauf

Coconut stop

Most majestic sound: elephant fart 

Pad thai banana leaf

Elefant kiss

Hill tribe meal preparation

Thai whiskey

Tooth picks games

Selfmade dinner

Eye squirt black spa

Idiot move taking pictures at night

Night feeding

The sky

tag 5:

Oishi = yummy boy

Rice soup, sticky rice with something

Ed, lucy, joe

Tandem hit

Gekochte erdnuesse auf dem markt

Best boat cruise ever

Chinatown prete a porter

Tag 6:

Kreditkartenverlust

Tempel schmempel

Dinosaurierhuehner

Monk chat!

Frittierte bananen

Tag 7:

Tuktuk 150–>120, verkehr doch nicht so schlimm

Max Fresh

Klatschen nach der landung

Doener pizza indisch thai home vs. Away

Tag 8:

Moped, krit’s relax bar, bestest coconuts

Moped, danger vs. Fun factor

Thai cutting code

Fish sauce never in the fridge

Seefood diet

Kill it!

Sour sweet salty

Best cuisine in the world

Kikkoman go home

Tag 9:

Botchenfahren, amis getroffen

Go pipi if you need pipi pippi trouble

Piratencave

Worst bootfahrt in the world

Longtail schmongtail

My friend my friend, welcome, sorry, hello, many color, spicy?, ticket, yes, took took

7eleven on ko lanta near time for ljme: horrible czech family buying sandwiches by the dozens. Kids already looking like their parents after a detox and a bit of weight loss. Ugly father: “no wonder they are that lazy here, after all it’s a muslim country”. Well they’re not lazy…they’re just occupied heating the four thousend sandwiches you’ve just ordered you idiot. Plus it’s not a muslim country.

Tag 10:

Ride a pick up without any safety at all. Pure angst in parents’ eyes. Ridiculo! Tourists are always the worst people in every country you visit.

08-09? More like 08:30-09:

Exkurs: best music of the/my year

1. Late comer. Reminds me of better times (in music, that is): “thank you” by q-tip & busta rhymes. Even the features (weezy&yeezy) that actually shouldn’t be called features as they are basically shout outs of about two sentences are straight fire.

2. “New slaves” by kanye west.

3. Marcos Valle

4. Tyler – wolf w/o kanye

5. Vulfpeck

6. Nosetalgia & control: kendrick slapping competitors with features on their own tracks

10 thai commandments by notorious t.h.a.i.

1. All the wireless passwords are really bad – figuring out one never works though

2. According to all taxi drivers all hotels in town are full…he may be able to offer a room though. Spare them and yourselves the hassle. Just tell them you have got a room at the place you want to go to. Finito.

3. Don’t order sandwiches like an idiot. Even if you’re sick of spiciness, there are always safe options: pad thai, fried rice

4. Do some stuff you don’t do at home.

5. Don’t take too many risks though: scooter, transport

6. Lompraya

7. Know your climate

8. Do 

9 “yes” as “i have no idea whatchu talmbout”

Idiot kid: nelson mandela long walk to freedom

Pih pih: nice.

Pih pih lay: depending on your guide. Our trip? Phenomenal. Nicest dude. Worst time management. “You can leave the luggage in his office”: email in der fototasche

taxi-rip-off

Krabi? Horrible town. Grand tower hotel? Worst ever. 200 baht p.p. + 20 baht carrier boy + 10 baht toilet paper

Tag 11:

Transfer never on time

My english has gotten worse, using “not many” or even “not much” instead of “less”

Exkurs: koss porta pro life long guarantee

Both coasts? Or might one be enough?

Lompraya checking in and transfering 1000 minutes

Advanced thai-english: excuse me somebody sit here, luggage go front, you wait here we tell you later

Total abundance of trash cans

Not the ship to pick if you tend to get sea sick. Many pale faces, a lot of throwing up overboard or into plastic bags. The captain seemed to think he was in some kind of keanu-reeves-in-speed-type of situation. He might have been actually, as the checking in an transfering processes were remarkably badly organised and the schedule was pretty tight. Anyway instead of going a tiny bit slower he just went on bumpingly speeding over the waves. Meanwhile his crew smilingly started handing out plastic bags.

Sleeping or concentrating on the tiny screens with music and hidden camera clips seemed to do the trick for most people.

Koh pa nghan pier: 100 baht anywhere

Filmexkurs:

Love actually

3 nüsse für aschenbrödel

Der moderne stummfilm da, oscar und alles: the artist

Django

The godfather

Harry potter 1 (50% ungesehen)

Hangover

The graduate

Titanic (50% ungesehen)

Once upon a time in the west

Ground hog day

Jackie brown

Nabil, lynn, manil

Thai boxen, medizin, elternzeit, meditieren um 4 uhr morgens, 125er moped zu dritt, pupsgeraeusche zur begruessung, 2,6er und 3,7er abi

New year’s

Tag 12:

Sunrise ausgefallen. Cloudy.

Lie-in

Lecker fruehstueck, excellent eggs

Waterfall schmaterfall

Heat&humidity, constant stickiness

Red curry with peanuts

New pet: miss piggy. Enormously fat pig. Burt&fart grunts. Nose like a small elephant trunk. 

Leguan gesightet, krebse.

Wieder n dude mit krassen mopedunfallschuerfwunden

1.jan gammelt das ganze verkaterte full moon party pack im plaa’s restaurant rum. Wenig angenehm. Fuerchterliche musik.

Tag 13:

Wipeout american gladiators

vom Wellensplash gefickt

Lompraya voll

Trousers more expensive, different variety. A lot of neon

Density of tattoos >100%

Taxi driver’s work ethic…

Top5 things you need to buy at a thai 7eleven!

Tag 14:

Boy london logo

Complete darkness

Cute little songserm boat

Pha ngan & samui tourists: very special breed…

Donsak /= surat thani

Surat thani /= surat thani

Horribly organised

Chumphon pink wurst

Fame travel ftw

Worst moment: Sweaty-sticky nightmare traveling.

Tag 15:

Break even point. Das jucken aufgrund von schwitziger klebrigkeit hat aufgehört. Weitere 7-10 nachtzugfahrten jetzt kein thema.

Schöne metapher für die verdauung unter einfluss fremder speisen: brotbackroutine unterbrochen

Boy london und daisy duck

Teacher guy from uk. 

Best curry: nuts. 

Iguana: touch touch touch

Best museum ever

Auch hier: sexytime for brits

Tag 16:

All doors a tiny bit too low

Rocking motions idiot shrooms

Kanchanaburi: thailand’s milano

Fashion heaven

Pusha-T’s “king push” makes me want to sell everything to be able to afford surgery to become the meanest cock in the world and dominate the entire cock fighting scene in china for years.

Air con bus 140 + 100 luggage.

Normal bus 110

The guide to transport in thailand

Taxi Meter 35 base fare

Taxi drivers don’t seem to know a lot about their own city.

Fancy pants city for the rich above the streets for scum.

Dildos, fleshlights, viagra sold on the streets. Makes sense.

Tag 16:

Traffic hell

Selfie irony.

Wat pho: nice!

Massage school massage 280 30min

400m 30 min

Ticket office is basically just an exchange booth

Sandwich 7eleven mehr so geht so

No trying, no!

Tag 17:

Buffer day, yeah

The guide to shopping in bangkok…platinum: bulk buyers welcome

180 baht je withdrawl

1000 look like 100

Boy london, boy, london, don’t care

Top 5 pop culture icons in thailand- angry birds, spiderman, micky mouse, roses

Airport rail express “city line” from makkasan

“Aaah, chepublic!”

Rucksack? Ja! Flashlight, kobile phone

Hong kong: land of the rising burp

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