Sawasdee krab from Hong Kong Airport. Yeah, blogging live from Hong Kong Airport where – by the way – the local authorities have asked me to remove my hat in order to check my head`s temperature. The future is now. My head seems to be warm or cold enough though in case you were wondering about my health.
This post is going to be a giant pain in the a&^$ for me because I am hoping it will remind me of all the stuff I thought I should write down in order to be able to write about it thoroughly later. So this is sort of a list of my home work…or maybe beautiful free form poetry. You be the judge.
The plan is to add a lot of hyperlinks here to the actual posts that I will hopefully write one day.
Tag 1:
Palace mwuaeh.
Street food = macht.
Flussfahrt die ist lustig.
Sexy hund mit pullover
Gebissverkauf
Thai ice tea
Pedicure
Foot massage
Konsumimpulse krass heftig im gegensatz zu indien
Tag 2:
Platinum & pratunam
Papaya salad from hell
Boot flitzerei
golden mount view
Avoided demonstration, explored little hoods
Thip samai pad thai, coconut juice
Night train
Night train perfect for polar bears
Tag 3:
Shitty wok
Chiang mai shared taxis
Inmate massage
Sunday walking street hoellllleeeee
Tag 4:
Kaeltester tag seit 30 jahren
Benzinkauf
Coconut stop
Most majestic sound: elephant fart
Pad thai banana leaf
Elefant kiss
Hill tribe meal preparation
Thai whiskey
Tooth picks games
Selfmade dinner
Eye squirt black spa
Idiot move taking pictures at night
Night feeding
The sky
tag 5:
Oishi = yummy boy
Rice soup, sticky rice with something
Ed, lucy, joe
Tandem hit
Gekochte erdnuesse auf dem markt
Best boat cruise ever
Chinatown prete a porter
Tag 6:
Kreditkartenverlust
Tempel schmempel
Dinosaurierhuehner
Monk chat!
Frittierte bananen
Tag 7:
Tuktuk 150–>120, verkehr doch nicht so schlimm
Max Fresh
Klatschen nach der landung
Doener pizza indisch thai home vs. Away
Tag 8:
Moped, krit’s relax bar, bestest coconuts
Moped, danger vs. Fun factor
Thai cutting code
Fish sauce never in the fridge
Seefood diet
Kill it!
Sour sweet salty
Best cuisine in the world
Kikkoman go home
Tag 9:
Botchenfahren, amis getroffen
Go pipi if you need pipi pippi trouble
Piratencave
Worst bootfahrt in the world
Longtail schmongtail
My friend my friend, welcome, sorry, hello, many color, spicy?, ticket, yes, took took
7eleven on ko lanta near time for ljme: horrible czech family buying sandwiches by the dozens. Kids already looking like their parents after a detox and a bit of weight loss. Ugly father: “no wonder they are that lazy here, after all it’s a muslim country”. Well they’re not lazy…they’re just occupied heating the four thousend sandwiches you’ve just ordered you idiot. Plus it’s not a muslim country.
Tag 10:
Ride a pick up without any safety at all. Pure angst in parents’ eyes. Ridiculo! Tourists are always the worst people in every country you visit.
08-09? More like 08:30-09:
Exkurs: best music of the/my year
1. Late comer. Reminds me of better times (in music, that is): “thank you” by q-tip & busta rhymes. Even the features (weezy&yeezy) that actually shouldn’t be called features as they are basically shout outs of about two sentences are straight fire.
2. “New slaves” by kanye west.
3. Marcos Valle
4. Tyler – wolf w/o kanye
5. Vulfpeck
6. Nosetalgia & control: kendrick slapping competitors with features on their own tracks
10 thai commandments by notorious t.h.a.i.
1. All the wireless passwords are really bad – figuring out one never works though
2. According to all taxi drivers all hotels in town are full…he may be able to offer a room though. Spare them and yourselves the hassle. Just tell them you have got a room at the place you want to go to. Finito.
3. Don’t order sandwiches like an idiot. Even if you’re sick of spiciness, there are always safe options: pad thai, fried rice
4. Do some stuff you don’t do at home.
5. Don’t take too many risks though: scooter, transport
6. Lompraya
7. Know your climate
8. Do
9 “yes” as “i have no idea whatchu talmbout”
Idiot kid: nelson mandela long walk to freedom
Pih pih: nice.
Pih pih lay: depending on your guide. Our trip? Phenomenal. Nicest dude. Worst time management. “You can leave the luggage in his office”: email in der fototasche
taxi-rip-off
Krabi? Horrible town. Grand tower hotel? Worst ever. 200 baht p.p. + 20 baht carrier boy + 10 baht toilet paper
Tag 11:
Transfer never on time
My english has gotten worse, using “not many” or even “not much” instead of “less”
Exkurs: koss porta pro life long guarantee
Both coasts? Or might one be enough?
Lompraya checking in and transfering 1000 minutes
Advanced thai-english: excuse me somebody sit here, luggage go front, you wait here we tell you later
Total abundance of trash cans
Not the ship to pick if you tend to get sea sick. Many pale faces, a lot of throwing up overboard or into plastic bags. The captain seemed to think he was in some kind of keanu-reeves-in-speed-type of situation. He might have been actually, as the checking in an transfering processes were remarkably badly organised and the schedule was pretty tight. Anyway instead of going a tiny bit slower he just went on bumpingly speeding over the waves. Meanwhile his crew smilingly started handing out plastic bags.
Sleeping or concentrating on the tiny screens with music and hidden camera clips seemed to do the trick for most people.
Koh pa nghan pier: 100 baht anywhere
Filmexkurs:
Love actually
3 nüsse für aschenbrödel
Der moderne stummfilm da, oscar und alles: the artist
Django
The godfather
Harry potter 1 (50% ungesehen)
Hangover
The graduate
Titanic (50% ungesehen)
Once upon a time in the west
Ground hog day
Jackie brown
Nabil, lynn, manil
Thai boxen, medizin, elternzeit, meditieren um 4 uhr morgens, 125er moped zu dritt, pupsgeraeusche zur begruessung, 2,6er und 3,7er abi
New year’s
Tag 12:
Sunrise ausgefallen. Cloudy.
Lie-in
Lecker fruehstueck, excellent eggs
Waterfall schmaterfall
Heat&humidity, constant stickiness
Red curry with peanuts
New pet: miss piggy. Enormously fat pig. Burt&fart grunts. Nose like a small elephant trunk.
Leguan gesightet, krebse.
Wieder n dude mit krassen mopedunfallschuerfwunden
1.jan gammelt das ganze verkaterte full moon party pack im plaa’s restaurant rum. Wenig angenehm. Fuerchterliche musik.
Tag 13:
Wipeout american gladiators
vom Wellensplash gefickt
Lompraya voll
Trousers more expensive, different variety. A lot of neon
Density of tattoos >100%
Taxi driver’s work ethic…
Top5 things you need to buy at a thai 7eleven!
Tag 14:
Boy london logo
Complete darkness
Cute little songserm boat
Pha ngan & samui tourists: very special breed…
Donsak /= surat thani
Surat thani /= surat thani
Horribly organised
Chumphon pink wurst
Fame travel ftw
Worst moment: Sweaty-sticky nightmare traveling.
Tag 15:
Break even point. Das jucken aufgrund von schwitziger klebrigkeit hat aufgehört. Weitere 7-10 nachtzugfahrten jetzt kein thema.
Schöne metapher für die verdauung unter einfluss fremder speisen: brotbackroutine unterbrochen
Boy london und daisy duck
Teacher guy from uk.
Best curry: nuts.
Iguana: touch touch touch
Best museum ever
Auch hier: sexytime for brits
Tag 16:
All doors a tiny bit too low
Rocking motions idiot shrooms
Kanchanaburi: thailand’s milano
Fashion heaven
Pusha-T’s “king push” makes me want to sell everything to be able to afford surgery to become the meanest cock in the world and dominate the entire cock fighting scene in china for years.
Air con bus 140 + 100 luggage.
Normal bus 110
The guide to transport in thailand
Taxi Meter 35 base fare
Taxi drivers don’t seem to know a lot about their own city.
Fancy pants city for the rich above the streets for scum.
Dildos, fleshlights, viagra sold on the streets. Makes sense.
Tag 16:
Traffic hell
Selfie irony.
Wat pho: nice!
Massage school massage 280 30min
400m 30 min
Ticket office is basically just an exchange booth
Sandwich 7eleven mehr so geht so
No trying, no!
Tag 17:
Buffer day, yeah
The guide to shopping in bangkok…platinum: bulk buyers welcome
180 baht je withdrawl
1000 look like 100
Boy london, boy, london, don’t care
Top 5 pop culture icons in thailand- angry birds, spiderman, micky mouse, roses
Airport rail express “city line” from makkasan
“Aaah, chepublic!”
Rucksack? Ja! Flashlight, kobile phone
Hong kong: land of the rising burp