Selfies Anonymous (Viral Instagram Satire Video)

selfies anonymous video

“Selfies Anonymous” is a fairly adequate re-enactment of a Selfie-a-holics Anonymous meeting, “a 12-step group for people who struggle with selfies”. There doesn’t exist any real footage of such a session of course because people that suffer from selfie-addiction or at least are serious “hashtag” and “like” fiends lack the needed self conscience very often. So there aren’t any real groups of that kind.

The phenomenon of all the described typical selfie or Instagram scenarios isn’t as common in Germany or the rest of Europe as it is in the USA, still I have seen almost all the photo set-ups in my Instagram feed or in my Facebook stream. In fact…I have – ironically or in all seriousness – done and shared most of those stupid variants of the selfie myself. See my little list of shame under the video stream of “Selfies Anonymous”…

Hi, my name is Flodoard Quolke (or FlodUard Quolke on Instagram, actually) and I might well be a Selfie-a-holic:

  • the Shameless mirror selfie: yupp…even with the flash activated as well…
  • poses: yupp – ironically tho, if that makes a difference?!
  • picture of a sunset: yupp
  • hashtag #nofilter: yupp
  • trying to hit that “Explore-Tab” on Instagram using an enormous amount of hashtags that have nothing to do with the posted content: yupp – ironically tho
  • honest caption: I think so
  • Louis Vuitton bag: No…since I think sneakers count as well, I am guilty of this sin as well, I suppose.
  • the classic shot of the sky through a plane window with the plane’s wing in the picture to show how much you travel and how important you are: sadly, yes.
  • the “My office for the day” selfie or POV-shot: guilty as charged
  • the profile picture with stage lighting and a microphone: tragically, yes.
  • picture of the fitness watch on your arm or another way to showcase your running stats: NO! Ha! Probably only because I don’t run tho, which is pretty sad…
  • the term “bae”?: no, never used that one ever actually!
  • picture of a quote: no wai!
  • foodporn: alright, alright, I get it, I should participate in one of those groups…
  • #yolo hashtag? you betcha!

12/15. Hm. I need to talk to someone!

On a totally unrelated note: I do feel that my Instagram profile is the most interesting Instagram stream on the planet. Or at least the most underrated one. Even though it doesn’t offer any “real selfies”! Check out my endless stream of images of #cloudporn, weirdly cropped house fronts and other super inspiring stuff…

Selfies Anonymous Video via Whudat.